陽光大衛私房粉絲網

Snarkyarchies找到了這篇前兩天在Ascend晚會看到大衛粉絲寫的故事，超爆笑，超寫實。這人的心情我們應當都能了解的，我也是看過大衛10次之後看到他才不會呼吸太困難，任何粉絲第一次看到他會馬上缺氧是很正常的。

uncommonlygreat

請點繼續閱讀去讀爆笑全文。

Jake and I were invited by Jake's friend to a Humanitarian dinner at the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City. We got all dressed up, arrived feeling a little bit like college students surrounded by millionaires (okay, we really were) and we were pretending to be one of them. We walked around trying to be interested in the silent auction, when, really, we were there for dinner. (Again, we are college students. A meal is not just a meal, especially at the Grand America.) We wandered over to the Grand Ballroom where it was set up with near 100 round 10-top tables for dinner. We found our assigned table, sat down, and looked around. There was Lavelle Edwards. Pretty cool, right?

At this point, people were trickling in and sitting at their tables. I looked towards the door, and there was David Osmond walking with 2 or 3 other guys. He stood out to me because 1) he is really tall and 2) I've seen him a handful of other times. I mumbled to myself, "Oh there's that David Osmond guy..." and he was walking towards me.

Just moments before this, Jake had pointed to Lavelle, whom I was still a bit shocked to see just sitting tables away from me. Then Jake said, "Um... Hayley, do you see who is right by him?" I'm looking at Lavelle and the few people surrounding him, not seeing anyone that I should really care about.

And just then, Jake points. To David Osmond standing at the table next to ours. Jake says, "Not by Lavelle, by David Osmond..." And I said, "Yeah, I already saw him, big deal."

And then I see him. The boy next to David Osmond. The REAL David.

David Archuleta.

David Archuleta was standing approximately 4 feet from me. I might as well have died and gone to heaven. But really, I could have died from hyperventalation. Jake claims my face went bright red and I started to wheeze, covering my mouth and fanning my face. (You should really have him tell you the story. He tells it much better than I do.)

My family and close friends know what this means to me. David Archuleta is my Michael Jackson. I worship him. I love him!

Anyways, as I'm hyperventalating Jake is trying to say something to me but I don't even remember what it was. I think he was trying to get me to go talk to him but, I couldn't. I couldn't move. I couldn't even LOOK at David. I was star struck. Completely and adoringly starstruck.

So Jake, being the brave one in the relationship, gets up. He casually nudges David A. and says, "Hey, David Archuleta. How's it goin? My wife over there wants you to wave to her." I'm dying. He waves. I think I waved back. I don't know.

Suddenly the lights begin to dim, and the dinner show is about to start. The National Anthem is sung, I'm still just inches away from my childhood dream boat. (Lie: He has been my dream boat for 3 years, I've been an adult all 3 of them.) Seriously, people. David Archuleta is standing inches from me. The back of our chairs were touching! And all I could do was wheeze and blink.

Then, he gets up. I'm sure that he is going to perfom. So, I wait while he is gone, thinking of things that I can get the courage up to say to him. I finally feel brave enough to say something. So, we wait for him to go up to perform, and... nothing. The clock was ticking, the show was almost over. No David. And that was it. The show was over and David Archuleta never came back. I never got to tell him "You Can sing with my husband at our wedding" (Translation: "My husband and I danced to 'You Can' at our wedding", I was so nervous that even in my head the words were getting jumbled.)

So I never got my picture with him. I never spoke to him. I just got a wave.

Jake claims that David will be the one and only demise of our marriage. Just last week we had a conversation as follows:

J: If you had the chance to run away with David Archuleta, would you?
H: DUH!!
J: Ouch.
H: I mean, of course not.

***NOTE: I love my husband Jake. More than anything in the world. David will never be as cool as Jake. Or as sweet. Or as handsome. Or as funny.***